TEWR Ep 17 - Messing about on the Water

...or in the Sigmarite Priest's case under it

The Enemy Within Revisited Cast:
Gustav the Minstrel/Dilettante (Davy White)
Falco the Ratcatcher (Michael Morgan)
Smof the Ogre Maneater (temporarily played by Davy White)
Yorgon the Sigmarite Warrior Priest (Jack Roye)
Badigon the Boatman (Shane)

The old grey haired priest rests at a table nursing a mug of ale. He is surrounded by children and workman alike as he reminisces on his past adventures. 

“Ah yes I remember that day well! It all started with me and my party smuggled aboard a ship, the captain was a right arse. I sometimes think he was worse than the Knight!” The old priest roars with laughter, his great belly rumbling. 

“We just spotted that poor sod covered in bolts and floating down the river. When Smof tried to fish `em out, well the big oaf fell overboard! The ship cap`n shot down a winged mutant hangin in the trees and Smof swam upriver to this abandoned boat! Mind you this river was deep! Not even an Ogre could stand up in it!” The priest describes to his crowd, the workmen smiling at each other and the children`s jaws open in awe. 

“When Smof climbed aboard he nearly tipped the bloody boat over! luckily the oaf knocked over the mutants waiting` there ready to jump him! Oh Smof was in a terrible mood from the hangover and he was hollerin and wailin` as he nearly smashed the boat in two trying to hit the mutants!”

The priest takes another chug of ale wiping his mouth with his long beard, he smacks his lips and continues telling his story. 

“Then the damned Rat Catcher decided  it was a bloody brilliant idea to unload his blunderbuss into the abandoned ship! Nearly made my ears bleed when he fired that damnable thing! After the smoke cleared I could see he hit Smof!” The children gasp and the workmen lean in further, forgetting their mugs. 

“Oh to say Smof was mad wouldn't do him justice! He gave a terrible roar and tore through the mutants like they were smoke! And I was stuck on this f**ing boat slowly drifting up the river I had half a mind to jump off and swim. I couldn't very well let Smof kill `em all! But! I got lucky! There was a winged mutant that the Rat Catcher tried firing at with his thunder cannon… I'm not even sure he was shootin' lead with his blunderbuss cause he couldn't hit a damn thing besides Smof! So the Rat Catcher missed and I whirled around and gave my Hammer a swing.” The old man swings his ale and slams the mug back down on the table. 

“I barely clipped the poor thing and *Poof!* it went up in feathers! I stepped on the mutant's head for good measure and yelled at the captain to make that damn boat go faster! But...out of nowhere! The most horrible of mutants came from under the depths of the river!” A small girl gasps and covers her face as the old priest smiles and pats her head. 

“Not to worry lass the creature grabbed my leg and whipped me off the deck so fast the captain blinked and I was gone! Now, this creature was dragging me to the bottom of this river an I was strugglin to break free but to no avail! The creature was too strong for me!” 

The priest gives a small chuckle. “Or so i thought… I called to Sigmar and lo and behold I broke free of the creature's grasp!” The children gave a round of applause but the priest quieted them down. 

“Now, knowing Sigmar was watching me… I swam down to fight the creature! I wrestled him trying to grasp his slimy tentacles and haul him up to the surface where i could smite him properly with my hammer! Mind you swinging a hammer underwater is hard enough! So I was running out of breath and I made for the surface to get a breath so i could keep fighting! but the damnable creature thought otherwise… He grabbed me by the waist and the last thing i saw was murky water then… Darkness..” The small girl is crying now and Yorgon quiets her down 

Just listen my dear girl. I didn't die did I? No! I'm still here! Now mind you, my party members say otherwise but I KNOW I killed the beast! I awoke on the deck with that damnable captain handing me a beer.. Our relationship got much better after that day. 

Now Smof and Gustav were soaking wet I'd suspect the beast dragged them down as well and I freed them… Though mind you again the water was murky and Smof said he stabbed the creature but like I said it was me who wrestled the creature to death. After a few sips of beer I noticed the Captain had scurried off to the abandoned ship. It's hard to remember much after that… though I'm sure if i had another ale I'd remember!” 

The old man laughs as the workmen order another round for him and the children beg for the next part of the story.

by Jack Roye aka Yorgon Fulic.